• Taylor Jane

Singles Awareness Day

Updated: Mar 26, 2020

Singles Awareness Day, or SAD is coming up. Maybe you know it better as Valentine’s Day. I have loathed Valentine’s Day for as long as I can remember. Probably because I am what they call a “romantic,” and I have almost always been single on Valentine’s Day. Which is why it has the alternative name of Singles Awareness Day. Because you watch your friends and coworkers receive gifts from their loved ones, whether it be in person or on social media, and are suddenly made aware of how alone you are, or seem to be. And that deep pit of loneliness makes its way to the surface and you start asking yourself questions like, “When will I ever have a boyfriend again?” “How much longer am I going to be single?” “Is there something wrong with me?” “What if I am like this forever?”

To make it a little better, I had the sweetest parents! They knew how Valentine’s Day made me feel, so they would send flowers to my place of work, buy me chocolate, or surprise me with jewelry. Seriously, how sweet is that!? And it did make me feel a little better, mostly because I didn’t feel as left out (and knowing how much my parents love me). But I still asked myself those questions.

This will be the first Valentine’s Day where I am not close enough to receive anything from my parents, which makes me a little sad, pun not intended. But honestly, I don’t feel the dread of the upcoming “holiday” like I usually do. In this past crazy year I have experienced, I have become much more comfortable and confident with myself. I love myself more than I ever have, and don’t feel like I need to be on someone’s arm to amount to something. It has not been an easy or a quick journey by any means. I mean, it has taken almost 28 years for me to finally feel this way about myself.

Part of this journey was numerous amounts of rejection. There would be a man I was interested in, and somehow, he would find out I liked him and break the news that he didn’t feel the same way. I was crushed over and over again. It definitely made me feel like there was something wrong with me and that I wasn’t good enough for anyone. But time and time again I would put myself out there just to get hurt again. Even in relationships, I was always getting hurt, so why did I want to jump into another one?

I think what happened is I realized I can’t rely on other people, circumstances, or even myself. I have to put my full trust and hope in God. He is the only constant in my life and the only person who never changes. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). I try to look at myself and circumstances around me based on how God would see them. Granted, this does not always work because I am human. But it helps to take a step back and look at things with a different perspective.

The questions I used to ask myself, and still do sometimes, have a different answer now. None of that matters because my life on this earth is short, and I will be with my Creator for eternity one day. It makes a difference when I know I am not the one ultimately in control of my life. If it is the best thing for me to be single now, I will stay single. If it is the best thing for me to get married, God will place a man in my life who will take care of me and draw me closer in relationship with the Lord. Until then, I will be content in my singleness and know that I am free to do whatever God wants and go wherever God wants to go, without having to consult another party. And to me, that is exciting!

#Single #ValentinesDay #Love #Faith

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